Fun Fact: My daughter does not have her ears pierced. Over the years, many parents have asked me "why not?" — and I've had a simple answer: All in good time.
My parents allowed me to have my ears pierced for my 11th birthday. I'm so glad they waited. I remember their smiles as I opened a pair of tiny diamond studs and realized they were pierced earrings. That moment will always stay with me. If my parents had given in and had my ears pierced when I was younger, or a baby, they would have missed an opportunity to create a very special rite of passage to help celebrate my transition from childhood to adolescence.
Children grow up fast — especially when parents give in to their campaigns for the latest toy, or privilege. When we give in to these demands too early, what is left for later on? What is left for the years when these moments will really mean something? When we give our children everything they want when they want it, we miss opportunities to help them understand that they are not simply entitled to everything, but that they must grow and mature in order to earn the prizes.
Recently a Mom told me about her experience as she proudly took her son to get his first library card. He'd spent a lot of time during kindergarten learning how to read, and she felt this would be a great way to commemorate this important milestone. Her younger daughter wanted a library card too — and Mom struggled with whether to give in. Then she realized that her son had earned this privilege thanks to his hard work, and her daughter would do the same when her time came. She would get a card too, but all in good time.
There are many rites-of-passage associated with growing up: sweet 16, driving, Communion, Confirmation and Bar or Bat Mitzvah are just a few. As exciting as these big celebrations are, maybe it's the smaller ones that mean more.
Perhaps it's as simple as starting your child on an allowance, or signing them up for a library card. Start to seek these opportunities out and see if you can develop them into something that is special for the both of you. You never know what memories will stick.
Johanna Corcoran is a Johnston resident, member of our Mom's Council, and founder of Familytopia. Learn more about Familytopia by visiting www.myfamilytopia.com.
