'Get Out of Jail Free Card' has its limits:

A Johnston man who had previously helped the police find the alleged Johnston samurai sword attacker tried a variation of the "diplomatic immunity" claim from "Lethal Weapon" — and failed.

Johnston Police reported that the man claimed he had a "get out of jail free card" from the police chief for informing on the samurai sword suspect — but officers didn't seem obliged to honor it.

Maybe it was the fact that [according to police] he ran a red light, refused to stop for an officer who tried to pull over his car, and appeared drunk.

Or he may have spent the officers' goodwill when he tried to choke himself in the police station bathroom and punched himself in the face in an apparent attempt to claim police brutality, as reported by another officer.

Or maybe — just maybe — he lost his shot at "a free one" when yet another officer saw him break the plastic cover off an electrical outlet in the detention area.

... And that's not to mention that he was awaiting a court hearing on a disorderly conduct charge from Aug. 4, the night of the disturbance where the katana sword attack happened.

Editor's Note: In a follow-up chat, Chief Richard Tamburini denied making such an offer to the suspect.

Shop[lifting] List: Nail polish, deli meat... Spongebob plates?:

Johnston Police arrested two North Providence women last weekend for two separate cases of shoplifting, which included nail polish from a CVS and lunch meat and Spongebob Squarepants party plates from a Stop & Shop.

According to police, one of the women admitted to the thefts, and the other earned a couple of conspiracy charges for being the driver to both incidents.
 

OMG PD Bonus: Both women have extensive prior records, including the quaint-sounding "loitering for indecent purpose," a/k/a attempted prostitution; counterfeiting; robbery; and — wait for it — a 1991 escape from prison.

Bong Bust in Barrington:

In a nicely alliterative turn, Barrington police charged a 16-year-old boy with drug possession after officers reported finding cannabis and a "bong" smoking pipe in the boy's backpack on the grounds of a school there.

Officers released the youth to his parents pending a Family Court hearing.

Pellet-packing Portsmouth pair pinched:

Keeping with the consonant repetition theme, Portsmouth Police reported the arrest of two 18-year-olds on charges of conspiracy to commit felony assault and possessions of weapons on school property after a victim reported that one of them shot her with a BB gun.

Officers found the duo in nearby woods, and according to police reports, the men admitted to planning to shoot "random people" from a camouflage hunting blind, using a pellet rifle with a scope mounted on a tripod.

Bail was set at $5,000 for one and $10,000 for the other, and mental health evaluations were ordered for both of them.

Wedding Crashers: Block Party Edition:

A North Kingstown man gave two unwelcome guests to his block party an unwelcome surprise this past weekend. According to reports, a pair of intoxicated Kent County residents crashed a block party in North Kingstown while visiting a friend down the road. The pair, along with some friends, sat by the fire as the homeowner was trying to clean up the yard. When a 50-year-old woman attacked him for putting out the fire with the garden hose, the man allegedly sprayed the woman with the hose in an attempt to stop her from repeatedly hitting him with his own lawn chair. Also during the altercation, another man pulled the homeowner’s mailbox from its post. The woman was charged with disorderly conduct, willful trespassing and simple assault while the man was charged with disorderly conduct and vandalism.

Man vandalizes bar bathroom, PD’s padded cell:

Sometimes, one misdemeanor in one night just doesn’t cut it. A Hope Valley man tacked on a slew of charges after a night of drinking in South Kingstown. According to reports, he was escorted out of one restaurant for acting belligerent and hitting the seat dividers and items in the bathroom. After he was issued a no-trespass order for the establishment, police watched from afar as the 24-year-old man allegedly reentered the building – then hid in the bushes across the street when police arrived once again. When police asked why he returned to the restaurant, he allegedly swearing and called them “government pigs” and resisted arrest. During his arrest, he reportedly continued to swear at officers and called them names, kicked the squad car door and banged his head against the side window and partition of the police car. While in a padded cell, the man allegedly used a golf pencil to etch “**** the SK Police” and his initials into the wall.

Bloods? Crips? What’s the diff?

Next time you try to spring some gang knowledge on the South Kingstown Police, make sure you know your stuff. One Connecticut man apparently learned the hard way when he tried giving police a fake identity. When the man gave officers a name with the initials KSS, police then asked him why he had the initials “JCK” tattooed on his hand. According to the man, he was a member of the Crips and runs around town wearing red – at which point officers advised him that the color of the Bloods street gang is red. The man was charged with obstruction and driving with a suspended license.

Knock knock, who’s there?:

An elderly Woonsocket man gave his neighbor two knocks – one to the man’s door and another to his head.According to reports, the victim opened his door after hearing his 73-year-old neighboring knocking on it. When he opened the door, his neighbor rapped him across the head with a wooden cane. The caned assailant told police he had some problems with his neighbor so he hit him. Though he initially denied striking the man’s head, he later told police “I guess I did hit him on the head” after officers told him the man was sporting a bloody 1.5-inch cut above his ear.